confessions.

it was a mistake for you to kiss me, it is a mistake for you to think that things won't change. reality check honey, it usually does. how could it ever be forgettable when it was such a sweet surprise? how can i erase it from my head when it was the kind that i had always wanted? slow, sweet, romantic...i felt how your heart beat loudly against mine, the tight embrace that warmed me to the soul. i didn't mind because it was you, and you knew me, saw my quirks, heard my thoughts, inside and out. the comfort emanated to long stretches despite your sometimes absence in my life, and that comfort got stronger because that moment felt like the closest possible ever i could share with you. a moment.

entwined fingers...i was appeased from fears.

my love for you didn't change, but you grew up in front of my eyes, and sometimes grown-up people are harder to deal with. i am now scared of how grown-up you were that time, my greatest fear being that it's going to be considered another grown-up, meaningless moment. then you'll be one of them now. that you didn't see me differently, that i am not special, that it was nothing.

but stay there, it was enough. enough to confirm that you are dear to me, enough to confirm that our normal affections could envelope that kiss. it's not fair to ask for more, though my mind crazily thinks that everything would be really easy. i love you enough, you love me enough. so what's the point? so many things, but i'm keeping it simple. you're safe, and i'm fine.

i just like thinking of that moment. i hope you do too.