let you go (meant to be song lyrics)

You’re good for me
That’s what your heart says
We’re not meant to be
The world says we’ll part ways

What should we do?
What should we say?
We’re deep into this
How can I find a way?

*I should let you go
From the very beginning, this is what I know
How can I start? Baby it’s hard to be apart
But I should let you go

You’re my light
Leaving you will dim my life
Hold me tight
To be away is such strife

What should we do?
What should we say?
We’re deep into this
How can I find a way?

BRIDGE:

You made your way
Why can’t you stay?
Loving you is my reality
Let me be for a little while longer
I’ll just keep you today, if not forever

an ode to my mother

Patapon ba ang buhay ko kapag sinabi ko
Na mas importante ang mga oras na
Nilalaan na makinig sa isang kaibigan
Kaysa ayusin ang di ko matapos-tapos
Na gulo ng kwarto ko?

Patapon ba ang buhay ko na sa tensyon ng trabaho
Mas gusto kong matulog at tumulala sa kawalan
Kahit nag-iipon ng alikabok ang mga eskaparateng
Walang buhay at nandiyan lang?

Patapon na ba ang buhay ko dahil siyam na oras
Kong pag-iisip sa iba sa isang opisina ay isipin ko
Naman magliwaliw na maglakad ng mag-isa,
O kaya mag-‘unwind’ sa pagbabasa ng libro?

Patapon na ba ang buhay ko kung gusto kong
Magmahal at makapiling ang mga totoong tao
Kaysa pagtuunan ng pansin ang mga gamit na
Hindi gumagalaw at makakapaghintay?

glass heart

encased in an intricate web
of thorns and vines
it pulsates and glows faintly

to see it clearly one has to peek
and pry the thorns away erstwhile
getting gashes and cuts

peeling away the vines will show
it is these exact thorns
that hold it together

it is broken
and shattered
to bits and pieces

but it emanates a love
that each bit has
continually nurtured

catch a piece of it
it is yours
to keep…

the bridge

Midway I stand
Sullen, forlorn
Rooted on the spot
Not daring to go
Left or right

To be the cause yet to console
To bear, but to give
To selfishness, but to be generous
To love, but to live,
To grasp, but to let go

Until fate pushes me to walk
Unless rough winds drag me yonder
Until heaven weeps to mourn
Until the sun burns and scathes
Until the earth trembles and shakes…

…I will stand my ground (loving you)…

tampo

Dahil sa kakitiran ng utak
Dahil sa bugso ng damdamin
May mga salitang akong nasambit
At nakasakit

Sa isang iglap, nagbago lahat
Parang itinali sa kadena kaya
Lumubog ang damdamin
At tanong ay bakit

Kahit gustong bawiin
Luha’y di mapigil
Hindi magawang huminahon
At saka pumikit

Sana maalis na itong kirot
At mapatawad ng husto
Sa di pagkaka-unawaan
Dahil sa isang hirit

the hunted

I was overly protective of HER, HER whose same blood runs through my veins. We had waded through swamps, travelled in tinted cars and hid in houses that won’t seem to lock it’s doors and windows. It was always an urgent flight. Hiding behind pillars and running, always running. I am enveloped by fear but at the same time resigned that I would fight the assassin threatening to kill family, and whom I won’t give up till my body is lifeless and cold. I prepare myself mentally, knowing that I’m scared, but that I have courage that will be enough to wield it’s power to defeat helplessness, and only this matters…

(from last night's dream)
03 aug 04

the exit

There were choir boys or priests, I’m not sure, all sitting in a semi-circle on an altar, all in white robes. Robes that looked like Dominican friar’s robes to be exact. The altar was a haze of gold, and the ornate carvings were a blur. I was afraid to approach them, but I had to, in pursuit of something. On it’s left was a wooden door that I had to go to, and instead of opening it, I stepped right through it and melted into it like a ghost. There stood a woman in a medieval gown, of ivory I think, who had metal brandishings on the neckline and the waist. She gave me the SOMETHING I needed. I grabbed it, and was on my way out when she warned me that the door would lead me to another dimension, and that the exit would always keep on changing whenever I went "out". I took the "exit" on my first try…I don’t remember the place at all. The second try I was dangling from a vine of a tree, and thousands of feet below were the light green tops of a lush tropical forest on a bright morning that stretched as far as I could see. From then on I don’t remember if I got back to where I originally came from…

(from my Monday night dream)
03 Aug 04